Cross the Nation for Cheap

I've moved across this nation five times. Each time was an adventure and each time I learned how to do it for less. The following will outline how to cross the nation bare bones. It may not be comfortable or free-spirited but you will accomplish your feat and save money.

Know your traveling party. Become aware of everyone's limits and how far they can be pushed. Once this is accomplished you'll have a general idea of how cheap you can move. For conversation sake we're going to say there are few limitations. This basically leaves out hitch hiking, cannibalism and stealing. Everything else is fair game.

Get free moving boxes. Craigslist has free moving box postings. If you watch the listings you can get a load of moving boxes for free, but you have to be quick. There are others out there like you who know about this free outlet.

Bring a cooler of food. Go to the grocery store before you leave and buy off-brand food to eat on the road. This will limit the stops you have to make and the amount of fast food you’ll eat. When you run out of food, stop at the next grocery store and stock up again. It’s cheaper, better than fast food, and it’s easier to turn around in Kroger’s parking lot than Burger King’s.

Rent the cheapest moving van. Nice moving vans aren’t worth the cost. I’ve driven old and new vans and the ride varied little. When renting a moving van, reserve a smaller size than is recommended. Moving van companies assume you can’t pack a van, nonsense. Put all those hours of Tetris to use and pack it tight and to the top; heavy stuff on bottom, flimsy stuff on top, fragile stuff in the middle. With a smaller van you will save gas, it will be easier to maneuver, and the packing will be more secure.

Shop online for cheap drop offs. Don’t only compare moving van companies but compare pickup and drop off locations as well. You could get a cheaper rate if you’re not picky about where to pickup or return the moving van. Neighboring towns often need moving vans and offer a cheaper rate.

Don’t rent moving blankets or a moving cart. You have blankets, towels, pillows, sheets, drapes, and even placemats - put your own items to work. Moving carts are usually screwed to the inner wall of the moving van. If you’re old or weak you could use it, but put it back how you found it. They have no way of checking if it’s been used.

Extra insurance is a waste. The odds you’ll get in an accident or slim to none. If someone or something hits you the moving van company will pay for it. A pheasant flew into the windshield of a moving van I was driving, and the company paid for it without ever asking if I had bought the extra insurance. Extra insurance is a hoax. If you buy it you’re planning for an accident.

Tow your car. Rent a trailer and tow it. Don’t needlessly drive across the nation because you’re afraid of backing up. Backing up a trailer is simple physics. Turn the butt of the truck one way, the car goes the other. When you’re headed in the right direction follow the trailer back with the truck. Towing your car also gives you a mobile bedroom, or a place to carry your pets, plants, and luggage for the trip. Pets can’t ride in the back of the moving van because they’ll die from carbon monoxide poisoning.

Drive on the interstate. Use an atlas to navigate and stick to the major highways. They are faster, straighter, and have more gas stations, lodging options, and rest stops. They also provide a direct route to where you are headed.

Go the speed limit. Drive 65 on cruise control and your gas will last longer. Plus, there are many speed traps along the interstate you aren’t familiar with. Cops love to pullover innocent bystanders and punish them.

Draft. If you come up on a semi truck or other large truck going a similar speed, ride their bumper. You’ll be able to draft off them and save gas. Don’t worry, they can’t stop fast, and they do it to each other all the time.

Buy cheap gas. Gas in the big city is more expensive than in the country. Buy gas before you get to a big city and you’ll save some pennies. If you wait until after you’ve passed the city there may not be any gas stations close by.

Avoid toll roads. They aren’t faster or less congested. Stick to the interstate and you shouldn’t hit any tolls, unless you have to cross a bridge over a body of water.

Double up your stops. When you stop for gas try and accomplish as much as you can. Get dinner, walk the dog, use the bathroom, buy water, check the atlas, etc. That way you’re not making multiple stops wasting gas and time.

Pee in a cup. If you have to go and there is no other reason to stop, pee in a cup. If you’re driving make sure you’re ambidextrous and the road ahead is straight. Trying to pee in a cup around a corner is messy.

Stay with people. Bunk with people you know along the trip. This could be friends from college, long lost girlfriends or even that one guy that used to work for your dad. They should have a couch and shower you can borrow. Just make sure you identify these people early and contact them. If you don’t they may be on vacation or expecting an old debt to be paid when you arrive.

Sleep in your car. If you don’t know a lot of people, you’ll need to sleep in your car (mobile bedroom). If you sleep in your car do it at rest stops or close to a lake or river. That way you can use the bathroom when needed and bathe in nature's waters. Don’t bathe in salt water. It doesn’t clean well. If you want to camp, there are many campsites but they cost money and are far from major highways.

Don’t stay at hotels. If you have to stay at hotels because someone in your party is pregnant or a princess, price it out. Know what local chains will be off the interstate and pick the cheapest one. If it’s a well known chain they’ll have a name to defend so all amenities will be livable. Mom and Pop shops can be unpredictable, infested, or sets for the next horror movie. Also, don’t wait until midnight to stop and look for a hotel. Even hotels in Iowa fill up.

Shed access weight. If someone is mouthing off and isn’t pulling their weight in the traveling party, leave them at a truck stop. Less weight means more miles per gallon and truckers appreciate a little company on the road.

Stay sharp. If you drive tired or hungry accidents can happen. When you’re tired sing songs, call someone or eat, but don’t shut your eyes. If you’ve shut them once, it’s time to stop. Accidents are costly.

Listen to music, be gay, and enjoy the scenery. It’s free and it could be a long time before your next trek across the nation.

Moving or driving across the nation can really suck or be a lot of fun. It can also cost a lot or a little less. Stick to these moving tips and you should arrive at your destination on time, healthy, and with a little dough leftover. And that guy you left in Reno, he’ll forgive you if he ever makes it to your town.